Guide to Making a Myspace Ego

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(See extra long comic) (Text from comic) Layout. Intro: By following this guide, you will learn how to make an un-ignorable myspace ego to defend against, yet reinforce, your innate fears. Fear motivates the world. And the face of that fear is ego. Ego is a defense. And it must be understood that only the fearful need defense. Deep down, you are like everyone else: afraid. You have a persistent sense of incompleteness and need revolving primarily around your body that leaves you feeling vulnerable and thus inherently fearful. But you don’t want anyone to know that. In fact, you don’t even want yourself to know that. You want to deny and bury the truth. The truth isn’t cool. What is cool is being a unique, special person who has the world by the balls. Lucky for you there is myspace. What Myspace does is allow you to build a public ego whereby you can make it look like you are special and awesome. And by establishing your special awesomeness, you can build a clique of people who share in and support your special awesomeness.Before you start building your myspace ego, decide what kind of ego you want to make. Your myspace ego already exists in some pre-made, hyper-real, sub-cultural ideal. All you have to do is decide which one of those pre-made ego ideals you want to use for your myspace ego. Some types of egos are more subtle than others. But if you want to make an un-ignorable myspace ego, you don’t want subtlety. Thus, you want to be as obnoxiously superficial as possible. You want to seem really tough, sexy, and wealthy. In other words, you want all your focus to be on how great and special your body is and how successful you are at getting things for your body by manipulating other bodies.Warning: In making a myspace ego, you are likely to alienate people who are truly cool. That shouldn’t be a problem though. Because truly cool people usually don’t use myspace much, if at all. Haters: Since you deep down know that your tough, special myspace ego is really just a defense against your inner fear, insecurity, and sense of lack, you’ll need to constantly defend yourself from your phantom enemy, known as the hater. In your limited view, haters are just people who are jealous of your awesomeness. In reality though, haters are a phantom enemy existing only in your head. They are the outward projection of your own insecurity about your house of cards ego.The myspace profile photo is very important. You aren’t here to feed or show off your mind after All. You are here to nurture a surface self to keep focus away from your deprived mind. For women: regardless of your breast size, show as much cleavage as possible-perhaps even a little areola. If you aren’t very good looking, skip the face and go straight to the cleavage. For men: if you lift weights a lot and or take some roids then you want a shirtless photo. If you aren’t very good looking, skip the face. Maybe flash some cash. (Even though you know nothing about the federal reserve system.) If you are fat, study photos of Biggie Smalls and recreate them.”themz bitchez knowz dayd be hatein da shitz” Quote: Write some tough sounding, phonetically spelled, defense against Your phantom enemies. Or write some tough sounding, phonetically spelled, pseudo insight. Send Message Add to friends IM/Call Add to Group Forward to friend Add to favorites Block user Rank User Public or private? If you are embarrassed by the caliber of your friends and the lengths you’ll go to impress them, then Set your profile to private. If you aren’t embarrassed (although you probably should be) go public. Unsure? Go semi-private. About Me: Here you type out something full of shrouded or blatant boasting about your unique self. Inevitably though, you explain how poorly you actually know yourself. Perhaps, you should just leave this section blank. People, including yourself, might find out you are an actual human being and not just an ego. Design: You want to make your myspace page as unique as you. Consequently, you want to go find some pre-made template on the web to use on your page. If that is beyond your skill level, at least put up your own background image. Preferably, you want a background image that will render the text on your page difficult to read. Also, litter your page with all sorts of frivolous pictures and phrases reflecting your individuality that you found around the web. In general, just do whatever will increase the load time and disorder of your myspace page. If you are single, you can use myspace to hook up with someone. If you are in a relationship, you can use myspace to brag about how great and satisfying your relationship is. Don’t worry, people will ignore the fact you say the same thing about all your relationships as they come and go. You’ve been too busy being cool to develop any real interests or creative skills. Well, not to worry. Here is where you can overlook your own lack of creativity by constructing your identity using other people’s creative works. Movies: start with Scarface and work from there.Music: Whatever is most popular in your clique.TV Shows: the more brain-dead the better. Anything from MTV or E will do.Books: you don’t read, so don’t pretend like you do. Exploit your ethnicity—after all, your ego derives its identification primarily from your body. Thus, you want to place your special body into a group and differentiate it from other groups of bodies. Religion: although your real religion is your own ego, still make sure and give an insincere, token, shout out to your personified God. Smoke/Drink: Hell yeah! Self-abuse under the guise of fun is cool. Income: Put the maximum amount. Some people will actually be dumb enough to wonder if it is true. Tip: Watch A lot of MTV; It will make you feel guilty for having a brain. Thus, you’ll be in the perfect suggestive state to want to focus all your efforts on superficialities. That is an excellent recipe for making an incredibly insane, and thus great, myspace ego. If you want a lot of myspace friends, you are probably going to have to dumb yourself down and whore yourself out. If you really are dumb and whorish, then that will be easy. If you aren’t, then start acting like you are. The better you are at suggesting that you and your group are the cool ones and everyone else sucks, the better you will be at attracting people who want to be part of your myspace friends. In other words, you want to unite in opposition to other groups. That is the crux of ego relationships. As an ego, your affection and approval of others is conditional on how they can support your ego. Make note of popular slang words and abbreviations that are used within your favorite myspace cliques. Assemble those slang words and abbreviations into all lower case, phonetically spelled, unpunctuated, sentence fragments. Then post them as comments. If you don’t understand those instruction, you are already good to go. Also, always pass on chain comments. Nothing says “I’m a robotic tool without a will of my own” better than passing on chain comments.Wannabecool420 it 420 bitcheese (Translation: What is wrong with me? I’m really too smart to be catering to this cliché drivel.)extremedouche69 i comz to c u rite (Translation: I’m dumber than my shriveled rocks.)greatestbitch69 OMG u r teh coolest bitch kthxbi <3 (Translation: Write something nice about me on my profile referring to me as a bitch, because the word bitch is cool.)Who is Rupert Murdoch? The guy you are making money for by using myspace. Mind or Body? You either believe you are mind, and thus spirit, or a body. If you believe you are a body, you will believe you are separate, vulnerable, and mortal. Thus, you will follow the kill or be killed philosophy. The more you believe you are just a body, the better you’ll be at making a myspace ego. Done: You now have an ego image of yourself to present to the world based on aligning yourself with superficial, brain-dead, trendy, pop culture memes and ideals. Bottom Line: This has been a sarcastic, exaggerated portrayal of myspace egos and egos in general. If you recognized the truth in this comic, you laughed. If it hit a little too close to home and you denied the truth in it, perhaps you were offended. The fact is, everyone who has ever even thought of having a myspace page (or similar) has thought along some of the lines exposed in this comic. Don’t worry about it. What is important is to understand the psychology behind it, which, if you really get to the core of it, is fear. Ego’s are built of fear and fear, no matter how ridiculous or repulsive a form it may take, is simply a cry for love. Thus, Myspace is in many ways just a giant cry for love; it is a microcosm of the world. All those myspace egos are really just frustrated masks attempting to hide and mend an inner sense of poverty born of fruitless external searching. So, if you want to go on myspace, don’t go on there as just another ego pretending you are awesome and special. Go on there to spread some sanity by leaving your ego out of it. The truth is that we are all the same. Difference is just a mask of fear attempting to deny the truth about ourselves. Happiness rest in learning to go within to where abundance always was, not in making yourself out to be a mindless, needy, vulnerable, special, defensive body. Get Mindful! social network, myspace hacks, myspace codes, social networking,