Category Archives: Work

How to be a Dirtball

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(See Comic)How to be a Dirtbag (Dirtball) Drop out of school. Be attracted to sleaze. Get pregnant as young as possible. Be promiscuous enough so you are unsure who the father is. Aim to be a grandmother by age 30. Take up smoking and drink a lot. Start as young as possible. And don’t stop there. The more addictions the better. Have a criminal record. And have lots of criminal friends. They can help get you into trouble and keep your life crappy.Enunciate poorly. Have a large vocabulary of slang words. Have a very small vocabulary of real words. Be an angry person who’s quick to fight. Own weapons. And Always blame your problems on somebody else. Take advantage of welfare. STD’s are your friends. Think nothing of stealing. Be really loud and rude. Always act entitled, not thankful. Have lots of big, poorly behaved dogs. It will be a great pointless liability. And people will think you’re tough. Perhaps even run a dog fighting ring. Be a deadbeat dad. Drive a car that was nice and luxurious 20 years ago. And Pretend it still is. Make sure it is a car with minimal safety features. What’s Hygiene? Ruin your driving record. That way your car insurance will be too expensive to afford. Perhaps get your license revoked. Take advantage of credit card offers. Then run up huge credit card debt by buying frivolous junk. Don’t pay it off. That way you’ll be able to ruin your credit and have nothing to show for it. Have Aliases. For example: Kurt Poincon, Bret Starbig, Tod Roach, Ivan Gerkenhoff. Have a good dirtbag occupation. For example: Stripper, drug dealer, stolen goods trader, cop, scalper, Con-artist, bookie, illegitimate masseuse. Get tattoos. The more short-sighted and hard to hide with clothing the better. Preferably do this while very drunk. That way your decision will likely be extra insane. If you want a Chinese symbol, go with this one: It means a Chinese symbol for whore.

Bad Credit, Criminal Record

What Type of Worker are You?

(See Comic) Not all work is created equal. And unless you know what kind of worker you are and make sure you do the kind of work right for your type, you will have a hard time being happy and successful in your work. In general, there are 4 types of workers. Each of these 4 types of workers are essential for any successful business venture. Without all four of these types of workers, a business will underachieve, if not outright fail. Most people are one type of worker. However, most people also have some proficiency with another type of work beyond their dominant type. small business The 4 Types of Workers Whiz: The whiz is the source of ideas. And ideas are what businesses are built upon. The whiz is the idea producer. This type of worker is good at coming up with ideas but usually not very good at executing them. small business The whiz rapidly moves from idea to idea and so needs other people in order to take ideas further. Realist: The realist brings ideas down to reality. The realist figures out the feasibility of ideas. The realist is the engineer of the operation who utilizes a knowledge base of tried and true methods to see if an idea can be realistically pursued. Salesperson: The salesperson is the business's connection to the outside world, which is where the money comes from. A good product can often sell itself, but not if no one knows about it. The salesperson is the person who figures out how to go out and establish the business within a community. Organizer: An organizer could be anything from an accountant to a janitor. Organizers are workers who are good at step by step work. These workers are the people who keep the nuts and bolts of the operation tight. small business Conclusion Although theoretically a person could do and enjoy all 4 types of work, that kind of person is very rare. Hence the saying, "No man is an island." Success requires an adequate amount of each type of worker. If a business lacks or skimps on certain types of workers, that business will under-perform, or perhaps outright fail. Also, the right types of workers need to be put on the right jobs. Otherwise, the result will be shoddy work and unhappy workers. There isn't necessarily such a thing as a bad job (although there is such a thing as an poor paying job), just the wrong person doing the wrong work.