(See Comic) To keep tied or Penned up outside A.K.A. To Annoy Neighbors with incessant barking at any anomalous thing within a 1000 foot radius. Babysitting: If you canâ€™t take care of your kids, you wonâ€™t be able to take care of a dog either. Bad dog, Carl! Note: This is A Baby Doll, not a real baby. To keep the Floors Clean: It just doesnâ€™t work. Crumbs, Tile, carpet. Insecurity: A.K.A. To make up for Penis Inadequacy (or Envy) Issues. A.K.A. To make up for Penis Inadequacy (or Envy) Issues. It is the same reason people get guns and obnoxiously gratuitous vehicles. Beware of Dog. beware my phallic compensation.