Monthly Archives: August 2008

Manifesting Intentions

(See Comic) Intention: Decide what you want to intend. You have to totally want this and all that comes with it. Otherwise, you won’t be committed to it and you’ll give up. Wishy Washy intentions give Wishy Washy results. So make sure it is your own intention custom made for you. And intend for it to be what is best for everyone (do it with love). Don’t worry about the steps to get your intention manifested. Simply, visualize yourself with your intention already manifested. What is it like? How do you feel? Finally, you may want to write out your intention and say it out loud.
Echo: Within a few days after declaring your intention, you should hear some sort of echo of your intention. This will occur in the form of some little synchronicity that will let you know that things are in the works. Getting an echo is fairly easy, but you have to stay committed to your intention to get to the next stage. Avalanche: You may have to be a bit patient, but as long as you stay committed to your intention, an avalanche of resources and ideas to manifest your intention will start rolling in. Go with the flow of the avalanche. If you try to fight the flow, you’ll get buried and your intention will too. If the path presented to you seems too hard, you have the option to intend that the path be easier. Result: Eventually you should be able to step back and say, “Wow, my intention actually manifested.” How long that will take is quite variable. If the initial intention was conflicting and bad, it won’t ever happen. If the initial intention was simple and good, it could happen really fast. The real secret to manifesting intentions is to intend stuff that will actually happen. And stuff that will actually happen is stuff compatible with you. If you intend to be a rich, famous singer and you suck at singing, then your intention probably sucks. So, good luck with that one. Basically the smartest intention you could have is to be as happy as possible (and to spread your happiness). That is a pretty simple intention and manifesting it requires nothing external and always happens now. It’s basically a non-intention. Getting stuff is not the same as being happy. How often have you really wanted something and after getting it simply wondered, what next? The goal of all goals is to have no goal. (The intention of all intentions is to have no intention.) And in many ways happiness could be defined as goalessness; it is a complete satisfaction independent of external things. Wise intending is Happy intending. I-Ear Method

How to be a Dirtball

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(See Comic)How to be a Dirtbag (Dirtball) Drop out of school. Be attracted to sleaze. Get pregnant as young as possible. Be promiscuous enough so you are unsure who the father is. Aim to be a grandmother by age 30. Take up smoking and drink a lot. Start as young as possible. And don’t stop there. The more addictions the better. Have a criminal record. And have lots of criminal friends. They can help get you into trouble and keep your life crappy.Enunciate poorly. Have a large vocabulary of slang words. Have a very small vocabulary of real words. Be an angry person who’s quick to fight. Own weapons. And Always blame your problems on somebody else. Take advantage of welfare. STD’s are your friends. Think nothing of stealing. Be really loud and rude. Always act entitled, not thankful. Have lots of big, poorly behaved dogs. It will be a great pointless liability. And people will think you’re tough. Perhaps even run a dog fighting ring. Be a deadbeat dad. Drive a car that was nice and luxurious 20 years ago. And Pretend it still is. Make sure it is a car with minimal safety features. What’s Hygiene? Ruin your driving record. That way your car insurance will be too expensive to afford. Perhaps get your license revoked. Take advantage of credit card offers. Then run up huge credit card debt by buying frivolous junk. Don’t pay it off. That way you’ll be able to ruin your credit and have nothing to show for it. Have Aliases. For example: Kurt Poincon, Bret Starbig, Tod Roach, Ivan Gerkenhoff. Have a good dirtbag occupation. For example: Stripper, drug dealer, stolen goods trader, cop, scalper, Con-artist, bookie, illegitimate masseuse. Get tattoos. The more short-sighted and hard to hide with clothing the better. Preferably do this while very drunk. That way your decision will likely be extra insane. If you want a Chinese symbol, go with this one: It means a Chinese symbol for whore.

Bad Credit, Criminal Record