How to Become a CEO (or even President of The United States)
(See Comic)Eight Simple Steps It isn’t what you know, it is who you know. So, you want to be friendly and likable. You want to spend time doing social things like having drinks with people instead of things like reading books. I feel your pain Your high position in life already exists. You might already have connections or might have to make connections. Either way, those connections will direct you to your position. You certainly aren’t going to build your high position for yourself by starting your own successful company. You aren’t smart enough or a hard enough worker for that.Getting to your position means climbing a ladder. Go with the flow. Don’t rock the boat. You want people to see you as an ally, not a threat. Here is where the fact that you don’t have a single original thought in your head will be very helpful.As you climb higher in rank, get rid of subordinates that threaten you with their superior competence.Eventually you’ll become assistant to the existing CEO. The existing CEO made his way to the top the same way as you. And he likes you because you are likable yet dumber than him–just as he was likable yet dumber than the CEO he replaced. The time will come for the board of directors to vote in the new CEO. The board is fairly detached from the company’s success. They just want a guy in command that will pay them well. They won’t ever call you on your incompetence as long as you treat them well. They are themselves where they are because they know how to go with the flow—even when it’s down the drain. King Idiot board of idiots shareholders So finally, you are the CEO. And due to the way you got there, you are now king idiot of a hierarchy of idiots that is progressively more idiotic than the previous hierarchy of idiots. The company was originally built by competent people. But each change in leadership means a progressively more incompetent organization. Without a resurgence of competence coming from some outside influence, the organization is on its way to its demise.Oh the Insanity! So, as long as you allow yourself to be unimpeded by any dissenting competence, you can now proceed to run the company into the ground. It will be fun because while the company collapses you’ll be flying around doing things like playing expensive rounds of golf.Business, make money This guide is based in part on the observations of American billionaire financier, corporate raider, and private equity investor Carl Icahn
Spacetime for Happy People
(See Comic) What model of spacetime do you live off of? Have you ever thought about it? Model 1: Spacetime is an open book and you are one of many authors. This is the most popular model of spacetime. The way most people act and think reflects a general belief in this model of spacetime. In this model, the future of the universe is the net result of a large number of forces (individual free will, physical laws, divine intervention). This model is conducive to competition and congruent with Nietzche’s concept of “Will to Power.†In this model, the more power you have, the more you get to dominate the authorship role. For those who believe in a God who intervenes with this universe, God is the main author in this model. But you can make bargains with God through prayer so he’ll maybe author the future how you think you want it. Model 2: Spacetime is a closed book and you are a mere puppet of some external author(s). This view paints a picture of a deterministic universe authored by set physical laws (and or God) in which you may think you have free will, but you are really just a preprogrammed robot. This model often borrows aspects of model 1 but without the optimism of autonomy. Model 3: Spacetime is an open book and you are the author. This is the Subjective Reality model of spacetime. In this model the universe is just like a dream. You made it all up but are identified with one little primary character that you call your self. This is the model of the universe that is most conducive to things like manifesting and the law of attraction. It assumes that the dream is open to your manipulation since it is your own dream. All you have to do is change your mind and thus change the universe. Model 4: Spacetime is a closed book. You authored it already. And you are just reading your own book right now as if you don’t know what is going to happen next. This is similar to model 3, but without the autonomy of an open book. There may be alternate versions of certain sections of the book that you can choose to read instead of others, but overall, the book is already written. Anything you think is true is only true because it was written into the story. So, stuff like your decisions to do things were written into the story. That would explain why things like manifesting seem to work for some people but not others. It is because it was already written into the story, including the success or failure. It’s all a trick. Which is The Happy Model? Open book models of spacetime sound good at first, since they seem creative. But they are really a kind of treadmill scenario. There is no discernable end to them. If you believe in death (one life to live) then that promises some kind of end. But if death isn’t real and you simply reincarnate (or something) when you seemingly die then you are potentially forever stuck, like Sisyphus, to pointlessly toil away in the up and down dualistic world. That can get pretty depressing pretty fast. Remember: The goal of all goals is to have no goal. Closed book models of spacetime sound dubious at first because we like to believe we are the one’s making our decisions right now. But what a relief it would be to just relax and stop investing in specific outcomes with the knowledge that whatever is going to happen is going to happen. It is kind of like reading a novel. The novel has already been written, and you may have even read it before (or wrote it). The lives of individual characters are simply you reading the book from the alternate character’s perspective. Once you stop trying to write a story that has already been written and stop acting like it’s real you, you tend to get less engrossed and manipulated by it. You may even want to save time and just skip to the end. Not the mini end called death, but the real end, which is the same as the beginning. The end is the end of the book and hence the end of all the stuff that was seemingly true in the book—like death. In such a universe you can either believe in the book by using models 1, 2, or 3, or you can get over it, by using model 4. Outside the book is where heaven is found. But to stop reading, you have to get over the fear that the end of the book is death (oblivion). You do that by changing who you read the book with from ego to your higher self. The ego would have the book go on forever because it doesn’t exist without the book. Your higher self though assures the book’s ending and will lead you there faster if you simply stop reading with the ego. It isn’t about what you do, because that is already prewritten. It is the experience of reading and for how long that is variable.