The Psychology of Fractal Time
Fractal
Do you know what a fractal is? It is something that is self-similar at varying scales, like a fern made of ever-smaller ferns (see pic). Time, like the fern in the picture, is fractal. If you think of time subjectively (as something within your own mind) instead of objectively (as something outside your mind) then time is an idea. And the idea time represents is separation. There was but one instant of time and it only still seemingly exists now because we hold onto it in our minds by constantly dividing it into fractals.
The Fall
Psychologically, time is the idea of an opposite to eternity. Thus, it is the idea of something separate from eternity. Time is a dimension of separation. What you truly are is one with eternity (complete love), but you are seemingly here because you are lost in a dream of separation. The dream has no reality except to you who made it up and currently believe it. Every body and every thing you see out there in the dream is simply a disassociated part of your own mind. You carry on the dream because you believe it. It was born of a crazy, scary idea (separation) and it will continue to repeat that idea until you realign yourself with the part of your mind that never fell asleep and is committed to oneness instead of separation (duality).
The western creation myth of the fall from Eden touches upon this theme. The myth’s fatal flaw though is that it attributes the fall as a punishment by God. God didn’t do it, you dreamt it all up and so it isn’t really real. A better myth is Jesus’ parable of the Prodigal Son where the son takes his father’s inheritance, goes out on his own, squanders the inheritance, is afraid to return home, but finally does return home only to find his father completely forgiving and welcoming.
Yesterday
You know the old song by the Beatles, Yesterday? It is a good song, but to me a very sad song. To me it touches upon my own very deep and persistent sense of time as being a separation from past theoretical happiness. Here are the main lyrics of the song:
Yesterday Video Link
Yesterday,
All my troubles seemed so far away,
Now it looks as though they’re here to stay,
Oh, I believe in yesterday.
Suddenly,
I’m not half the man I used to be,
There’s a shadow hanging over me,
Oh, yesterday came suddenly.
Why she
Had to go I don’t know, she wouldn’t say.
I said,
Something wrong, now I long for yesterday.
Yesterday,
Love was such an easy game to play,
Now I need a place to hide away,
Oh, I believe in yesterday.
The whole plight of existence is summed up in that simple song. We all carry the basic baggage expressed in that song every moment of our earthly lives. Deep down we feel we’ve done something wrong, which led to separation, which makes us want to hide away and long for yesterday–whether we are willing to consciously admit it or not. If we aren’t conscious of it, that usually just means we’ve projected the blame on someone or something else. But there is no one else really–just you.
Consequently, time thought of psychologically goes something like this:
1. Past is the mistake that seemingly led to lost unity and started the dream we call the universe.
2. Present is guilt over the past mistake and consequent sense of loss.
3. And future is fear of punishment over the mistake.
Time Intervals, Time Fractals
Take multiple periods of time from your life (multiple time fractals)–your whole life, the last seven years, the last seven months, the last seven weeks, the last seven days, the last seven minutes, the last seven seconds… Examine all those intervals of time and within them you will be able to identify some sense of past mistake/loss, present sense of regret/guilt, and future hope mixed with fear tomorrow will be worse than today. The smaller the time interval, the harder it is to pick up on the pattern, but it is still there. If it wasn’t there, you’d no longer be here experiencing time.
Now
The whole popular idea of living in the now stems from the fact that the smaller the time interval you deal with, the less aware you are of all your “time baggage” so to speak. Living in the now is a fine practice, but inevitably, it solves nothing unless you deal with healing your sense of past and future, which is the belief in separation.
Past Happiness
People often have an overly optimistic and thus very warped view of past happiness. And that fact is something that has perplexed science. The reason for it is not really scientific though. The reason people tend to often have such a warped view of past happiness is because, in the mind, the past inherently represents Eden, heaven. Relative to the present, the past represents a time before the fall and thus loss. The past is thus a fractal of Eden and the consequent fall. The future on the other hand, is an insane mixture of “I can rebuild Eden on my own on earth” and fear that “it only gets worse.”
Life Cycle
In the course of an average human lifetime, the womb represents Eden. Birth is the beginning of the fall. And by the time puberty starts up, the fall is in full force. Once puberty levels off, it is usually a slow burn until death, which is the inevitable punishment for the past mistake of being born to begin with.
You don’t really die though, it is just symbolic and meant to reinforce the erroneous belief that separation is truth instead of merely a dream. You can no more die in physical reality than you can die in a dream; it’s all illusory and simply the repetition of an insane belief.
What to do?
There is a part of you that never fell asleep. And that part of you knows how to ease you out of nightmarish dreams of separation. The awake part of you is committed to oneness. The sleeping part of you is committed to separation. It is all about learning to discern between the two and choosing appropriately. If you want to wake up, you must inevitably accept that you are a dreamer and that nightmarish dreams were never true.